


The promise from back then

by chibi_usagi



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I swear anything and everything I write about these two has underlying soulmate dynamics, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25011976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_usagi/pseuds/chibi_usagi
Summary: Nea finally finds the one he needed most, and with their fated reunion, only peace could follow...
Relationships: Nea D. Campbell/Allen Walker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	The promise from back then

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chrisemrys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisemrys/gifts).



> Hi~! 
> 
> This is a story I wrote for one of my dearest friends long ago, wanting to celebrate our first year of friendship ♡ I never posted it until now, waiting to maybe get my mood together and write two other fics I had in plan (absolutely had to do -cough-), but now I feel compelled to post it because another special day is close!!  
> Out of my Neallen fics, this is currently the one I love the most for some reason-   
> I hope you will find it just as enjoyable~! Don't hesitate to leave a comment if you do!

Nea didn't know what to make of the current situation. After all, it was by all means something he didn't expect to happen so soon. Or maybe, he had given up on expecting such a turn of events at all. And yet, there he was, the one person Nea needed the most. Right then, right there, it felt as if his deepest need had been fulfilled, as if his dreams, the dreams he so struggled to look away from, had come true.

Allen stood in front of him, a warm, welcoming smile plastered to his face, just like he always did before. His silver eyes shone bright, filled with genuine affection and determination, and Nea could swear he'd seen a hint of familiarity in them.

The long red hair had been replaced by snow white locks that fluttered with every movement of the wind. Instead of the simple, yet elegant clothes from back then, Allen was dressed up in a slightly different exorcist uniform. So Nea knew immediately that the current vision spreading before his eyes was not a distant memory from the past, but an image of the present.

Memories from their previous encounters flooded his mind, memories of the Allen he knew, yet he did not. Memories of harsh words he heard and the thoughts they awakened. He had believed... that Allen wouldn't come back anymore. That it was pointless to try and bring him back. That he was but a product of his imagination and he would be forced to erase the current Allen in the end, no matter how hard he wished he could stop the process.

But the look in Allen's eyes suggested that a different outcome would be possible. So Nea hoped, he dared to hope one more time, and attempted to push the dark thoughts away. Even though on the outside he didn't let anything show, he had been in pain for a long time, but right now, with Allen, he felt the pain slowly melting away, like snow on a summer day.

"I wanted to see you so badly," Nea admitted, his voice down to a whisper, to which Allen's smile only grew, making his heart flutter. There was no secret that he missed that smile. So much, so very much, he needed Allen to show this smile to him and him alone.

"I know," came the simple response, in a voice that was softer than Nea had expected. " _I_ _know._ I wanted to see you too."

As the wind carried Allen's voice to his ears, Nea let out a quiet gasp, failing to hide the utter astonishment that suddenly burned in his golden eyes. "Why?"

"Because I have something to tell you, Nea," Allen said, taking one confident step towards him, then two. The sound of his name on Allen's lips was like a gentle caress to his scarred soul. Like the best antidote for his suffering heart. There was no hostility in Allen's voice, just warmth and a need for mutual understanding. Nea decided right then and there that he would listen to anything Allen had to say. With a nod, he urged Allen to go on. So Allen did.

"Recently," he started, silver eyes holding Nea's gaze, "I keep seeing fragments of memories, even when I'm not really asleep. At first, I thought they were yours, or that maybe they were ordinary dreams, or that I simply got lost in thoughts I had barely any idea about."

A hopeful smile pulled at the corners of Nea's lips as he listened. Closing his eyes for only a split second, he allowed his thoughts to wander between past and present before shifting his focus back to Allen.

"As they went back and forth, however," the white haired boy continued, "they connected to something else. A memory I could never really get a grasp of... I saw it a few times long ago, when I was in the circus, but it was always uncertain."

Allen recalled the many times he had tried to go beyond that very specific panel. But no matter how hard he tried, he could never get past the dense fog in his mind or the headache that followed. As time went by, he gave up on trying to figure anything out. But now, as the memory resurfaced, he was left with an unbearable feeling of longing.

"...And now? How was it this time?"

"Clearer. _Much clearer,_ " Allen allowed, almost immediately. "Clear enough for me to see that it was you. Clear enough for me to hear your voice. The way you sounded. The smile you wore. It felt like home. It made me feel safe."

_'It made me want to get to know you again...'_

For a moment, Nea swore he felt tears forming in his eyes. Tears of happiness. Tears of relief. He could almost feel them sting, like they did so many times before. Still, none came. But the tireless pounding of his heart, the wave warmth that now rushed through his body and the sparkle in his golden eyes were enough to betray the way he felt. "Allen..."

"Say, Nea. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he replied with a short nod. And for the first time in months, Nea felt like he knew what Allen's next question would be.

"Can you tell me more? About us? We were close... friends, am I right?"

Nea reached out, one hand gently tugging at Allen's sleeve, pulling him closer, while the other hand found rest on his lower back. "More. We were more than friends, Allen." As the last syllable fell from his lips, Nea pulled Allen into an affectionate embrace. And ah, how incredibly soothing it felt to have Allen in his arms again. The many years without Allen's warmth now felt like mere distant ghosts that used to haunt him, but couldn't any longer. Right now, the only thing he could focus on was the song of their hearts accompanied by the wind he loved so much.

Allen nuzzled against Nea's shoulder, a short appreciative hum escaping from his throat. He realized that he knew the feeling. His body was all too familiar with Nea's touch. He knew his scent... the scent of sun that so resembled Mana's. How many times had Nea held him close like this in the past? was the thought that now lingered in the back of his mind.

" _I want to know,_ " Allen pleaded in a quiet voice, his breath brushing lightly against Nea's ear, "the moments we shared. The memories we had together. Your memories of me, all of them," he urged, nails digging into the fabric of Nea's coat. "I want them to flow into me and mingle with mine..."

At some point, as they stood motionless in the shadow of Cornelia, a different kind of warmth traveled through Allen's body, one that he was utterly surprised to feel in such a place. The unexpected reaction from Crowned Clown brought about another little fragment of a memory. A voice so similar to his own resounded in his mind, revealing a truth that Allen had been searching for as long as he could remember.

His name, the entire proof of his existence, of his importance to the world and to Nea. The sound of it, although familiar, was also fairly new. To say that he was happy would be too little of a word. After all, it was maybe the first time Allen felt like his given name actually belonged to him. He wasn't a replacement anymore. And with this realization, he felt like he was truly allowed to live the life that he chose for himself.

Nea felt the change of atmosphere from the way Allen shifted slightly in his arms, almost breaking contact, but not quite. Meeting his silver orbs once more, Nea smiled fondly, even as tears started trickling down Allen's pale cheeks. He pressed his forehead to Allen's own, fingers entangling in his white hair in an automatic gesture.

"Close your eyes," Nea whispered, and Allen did as he was instructed, relaxing in his hold again. Neither of them really wanted to put an end to the intimate moment they shared, so they let themselves melt against each other, as the wind showered them in its soft caresses.

Allen wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not, but he certainly felt Nea's memories filtering through the very core of his mind. Frame after frame, second after second, they came in, and Allen gladly accepted them all. He wasn't afraid anymore. And the memories, too, felt less threatening than they were when he first experienced them. They were part of the Noah memory, but they were also a part of _him_. The part that was still in a deep slumber and needed to wake up.

He laughed each time he saw himself scolding Nea; sighed softly whenever he saw Nea asleep, with his head resting against his shoulder; smiled at every playful conversation he witnessed, at every moment of closeness and gesture of genuine affection. He trembled in fear and anger as the memories grew darker and more uncertain, and nodded silently at every piece of information he could remember.

The promise they shared came back to him as intensely as Allen imagined it would. In truth, part of him dreaded the memory. Part of him wished he could turn back time and save Nea in a different way. But he also respected his own decision to become Nea's host, and the even stronger bond they shared. They were one, they belonged to each other, Allen realized, and they needed to look carefully for the power to change the course of the war - to change the future, and not the past.

*

The next time he opened his eyes, Allen found himself resting against Cornelia, with Nea sitting right beside him, surrounded by silence. The Campbell manor sat proud in front of them in the beautifully stagnated scenery of Nea's mind, bathed in sunlight and in the fields of gold.

For some reason, Nea displayed a rather troubled expression, even as he was now sure that Allen had decided to support him. 'This isn't the whole truth,' his features seemed to shout, and it made Allen frown with worry. He was aware. He was aware of the fact that Nea deliberately hid certain details from him, details he couldn't bring himself to reveal. That he would need to uncover those on his own and brace himself for the pain that would certainly follow. He **_knew_**. But right now, all he wanted was to see Nea at peace.

So Allen called Nea's name again, reaching out to plant a timid touch on the his shoulder. "I'm here," he muttered next, and the words felt more like some kind of a lucky charm. "I will always be here, to help you find a way out of this mess. We can work on this together, Nea."

"I know," came the natural response, "I was just thinking. About various things."

"Care to share?"

At that, Nea turned to face Allen again, an apologetic look in his eyes. He couldn't let his thoughts run rampant now. He couldn't spill a word about his main source of worry - which was Mana and his state of mind. Because he wasn't sure how Allen would take it.

"Is it about the Earl?" was the question that made Nea forget how to breathe for a moment. " _Is it about Mana?_ About your mission to become the Earl in order to try and bring Mana back?"

"Allen- How...?" Just like that, as the wind playfully tickled his skin, Nea remained silent, unable to utter even the simplest words, just waiting for the white haired to speak up again. He couldn't bring himself to understand how it had happened... that right now, the Allen he saw acted like a mirror of his past self. Even though Nea only showed him what he requested to see; nothing more, nothing less.

In turn, Allen threw his arms around Nea's neck, pulling him into a reassuring embrace. "It's alright. I know," he confessed, pressing his head into the crook of Nea's neck and allowing strands of white hair to brush against his face. "To be fair, one part of me always wandered, ever since you awakened inside me," he said in a calm, warm tone, "what was Mana's role in all of this? As the one closest to you, how was he involved with the rest of the Noahs? This time, at some point, I asked myself the same questions. And soon enough, I realized that the answer had been buried deep within my mind for the longest time."

The memories Nea thought to have been locked forever, the details he wanted Allen to remember, but never had the determination to push him hard enough because he knew how close he had been to Mana, those were now slowly escaping from their cage, turning Allen into what he used to be, or maybe even more than that.

"The current Earl, as you said once, is nothing but a shell devoid of substance. He is a phantom of the past, only wearing Mana's skin, isn't he? That's what you struggled to hide from me. Because you feared that it could have destroyed me."

Nea only nodded. He couldn't see Allen's expression, but he could tell from the tone of his voice how much he wished to get Mana back too. He wanted to save a soul he so much loved. And he was right. About everything. The rampant memory was the one that pushed things this far, as Mana slowly faded into it.

To think that he was about to make Allen face the same fate... Nea flinched internally. But he was glad, so glad, that he had Allen by his side again, that he didn't need to fight against his own heart anymore.

"We promised that day. We promised to help each other through anything," Nea finally responded, pulling Allen even closer to him for a while and letting his hands wander up and down his back before they both decided to break the contact completely. "We promised to fight until the end."

"I promised to protect you from everyone. So I will. And even when the fight gets tougher, let's make sure not to lose sight of ourselves anymore." Silver and gold now faced one another, immersed in sheer determination. None of them dared to look away. And even in silence, their souls were connected, tirelessly conversing with each other, about what is, what was, and what would follow.

There could be a single reason why things took such a turn, why Allen's past memories suddenly resurfaced, and Nea knew it all too well. 'Was it you, Clown?' he asked in his mind, as gloved fingertips brushed lightly against Allen's left arm. He could feel a reaction from the Innocence, one that was meant to soothe him above all else. To Nea, it was enough of an answer.

'I see... Is it because Apocryphos isn't around that you chose to take such a risky path? Is there some other reason?'

Nea's last two questions did not find an answer, as Clown decided to hide itself away in a sign of protest to the Noah shamelessly trying to uncover the motives behind its actions. Nea swore he could hear a little not-so-aggressive growl coming from Clown also, and struggled to fight back a chuckle.

'Thank you, Clown,' he allowed with a contented sigh. 'Let's do our best from now on, too...'

An unexpected encounter and unexpected allies left Nea hoping for results he only ever dared to wish for in his dreams. He finally felt the wheels of his fate starting to move forward. "No matter what it takes, I'll create a world in which we will be able to smile together. So put your trust in me, Allen."

It was a promise he made to himself, one that Allen heard faintly before fading away in the sunlight. "We'll see each other again soon," Nea muttered, a pleased smile tugging at the corners of his lips, as he slowly made his way back into the mansion that was once his home.

~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> Chris, writing this for you was one of the best experiences I've had ;; It all came naturally, and I enjoyed myself to the fullest uwu Have one more look at this piece today, it's your treat month after all! <3


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